A couple of days ago, my seven year-old daughter performed in a dance concert. It was her first public performance and we were all very proud of her. She was very excited about it. We know how much she loves to dance.
Her routine was the first performance and we all thought she did rather well and were happy for her. At the end of the concert, my wife presented her with a present, personally wrapped up by her with a beautiful blue coloured wrapper.
To our surprise, my daughter not only did not say thank you to her mother but actually complained about her present. She said she did not like the colour of the wrapper and did not like the present inside it. She was grumpy all the way from the concert hall to our house. This was so unlike her.
The next day, she was still upset. When we invited her out to the shopping complex for a movie, she declined, claiming that she wanted to stay and rest at home.
I knew that something was bothering her and it was not just about the present but I didn’t know what it was. Anyway, the rest of the family went for the movie and had a nice time. Then it struck me that my daughter may have been upset not so much with her present as with herself. Perhaps she had felt that she did not perform as well as she could have. She does have very high expectation of herself and is quite a perfectionist when it comes to her dance.
Once we returned home, my daughter was at the door to greet us. I knew she wanted to talk and took the opportunity to ask her once again why she was upset. I advised her to tell me the real reason why she was upset and when she couldn’t say it, I asked her directly whether she was upset with herself because she thought she did not perform as well as she could have