I got a call from a lady friend of mine one early morning. After picking up the receiver, I immediately sensed her fright. In a slightly shivering voice, she told me that she felt nauseous and lightheaded right after she woke up. While crying, she told me that she was so dizzy that her room spinning in circles. I told her to calm down and wait for me to fetch her. After a few tense minutes, I finally arrived at her place and then rushed her to the nearest hospital. At the emergency room, the doctor gave her some medicines to help her calm down. She was discharged right away. I found out later that she was supposed to have her first big date with a guy that was introduced to her by her officemate. She told me that her anxiety began when “Mr. Right” appeared at the front door of the Italian restaurant where they were supposed to meet. She said that after seeing the guy, she hurriedly stood up and left the place using the back door. It was supposed to be her first real date. But somehow, she could not stand the thought of knowing what this guy would say about her hair, her dress, her teeth…her make-up…and a million other things about her.
While she looked fine to me, my friend actually saw herself as “wallflower”… a “Plain Jane” that would never attract anyone, much less have the interest of Mr. Right. In the taxi, she confessed to me that she felt really bad about the canceled date. She said that, all her life, she felt embarrassed or uncomfortable in meeting new people. Just when she felt she was ready to step out and go out on a date… technically, she got stood up.
After hearing her story, I told myself, “We have a case here.” This “Plain Jane” is actually suffering from Social Anxiety Disorder or Social Phobia. The basic feeling of social anxiety disorder is being very anxious in the presence of other people.
Research shows that social anxiety is the third leading psychological problem in the United States today. It is said that 15 million Americans are affected by this type of anxiety in any given year, and majority of those affected are women. But unfortunately, unlike any other psychological problems, this disorder is not well understood by the general public. Sadly, people who suffer from this condition are sometimes labeled as “clinically depressed”, “maladjusted”, “schizophrenic”, and even “weirdo.”
Some degree of social anxiety is felt by most normal people. However, people with social anxiety disorder are already so disturbed that even their word and daily routine is affected.
Before you panic and start running to your doctor like a mad animal to check if you too are suffering from Social Anxiety Disorder, try answering these questions: