You’ve heard that song, “Silent Night, Holy Night.” Well, there is something sacred about silence. Enlightenment comes to Zen monks in silent meditation. With this in mind, here is an extremely bold idea for a date. It’s highly unusual, to be sure, and not many will try it.Ask someone out on a date, but make this rule: Neither you nor your date will speak a single word for the duration of the date. That’s right! You both will take an oath of total silence.You will also keep all other forms of communications to a bare minimum. That means no writing notes, few or no hand signals, or any other form of symbolic communication.What you actually do on your silent date is not as important as the fact that you are dating in silence.For example, if you go out to dinner, you would not be able to speak to the waiter when ordering food. Although you might handle this by simply pointing to the menu items, the idea is to shape the date around the fact that you won’t be saying anything. Choose an activity carefully.
If you go to a movie, you won’t be able to discuss it.Why this idea? Why a silent date? What good could possibly come from it?Well, to be silent is tremendously difficult for all of us who live in the modern world. We live in the Age of Information. Everywhere is the constant clamor of communication. Radios play, TVs blare, people everywhere babble into cell phones, even when they have nothing to say. But if a person could just stop for a time to just listen and observe, tremendous new insights can be discovered about what it means to be alive today.Furthermore, when you share your silence with a dating partner, you are creating a huge opportunity to learn extremely subtle clues about who this person really is, and what he or she is all about. Just as a blind person must enhance his or her other senses to compensate for the lack of sight, two silent people must double or triple their other senses for reading what the other person is like “beneath the skin.”The silent date can produce truly amazing insights about other people. Interacting and observing with another person in silence is a powerful experience! Also, if you cannot be comfortable with another person in silence, it’s a good sign you can’t be comfortable with that person in any way.
That’s because we all use mindless chatter to cover up for how we really feel. We all know how people blurt out anything, just to fill those uncomfortable silent moments. When you date under an oath of silence, you are forced to accept your date on a more subtle level. You see deeper into their personality and psyche. In fact, it may take several silent dates to get the full effect of this.And consider this: After your silent date is over, you will have an iron-clad reason for a second date