This may seem like an obvious question but we often come across confused single Christians wondering whether God wants them to be married or with wrong ideas about why they should get married. In this article we will attempt to give some clear advice to all single Christians who are beginning the dating process and are wanting to know the right motives they should have regarding marriage.
Single Christians may need to overcome a burden of guilt regarding wanting to be in a loving relationship. This may have arisen through a feeling of unworthiness or lack of self-esteem: “I don’t deserve to get married”, “God doesn’t love me enough to find me a partner” or similar thoughts. The truth is that, right from the start, God has not wanted people to be alone. Adam was the first human being God created and He thought that Adam should not be on his own, in fact it was the first thing God said was “not good” when everything else in the garden of Eden was perfect.
So, if God’s purpose for his creation was for them not be alone then we can be sure that He has not changed and He still wants everyone to be married like Adam was. Of course we now live in a fallen world and God’s plan for marriage may not be perfected in all our lives the same as any of His may not be perfected. This is no reason not to pursue them though. So much of the Kingdom of God is built on relationship (perhaps all of it) and marriage within God’s plan is at is heart. The Bible says that marriage is a mystery that mirrors Christ’s relationship with His Church. If this was the best illustration St Paul could use then surely marriage is a significant thing for Christians.
The New Testament says that people should marry to avoid falling into immorality. Marriage is the best place for intimacy as it is a committed and blessed relationship. People go into marriage wanting that security from being with their partners. Intimacy outside this is temporary and risky both physically and emotionally and does not carry God’s blessing. Christians should not be scared of intimacy and consider it somehow “non-spiritual”, the truth is that it is deeply spiritual and can provide great healing within a marriage. Single Christians should seriously consider their own need for true intimacy before they begin dating, as this should not become a shock to them once they get married.
God wants single Christians to marry because He wants children to be born into the Christian community. We mention this lastly as we believe that the relationship aspects of marriage should be thought about first. If the relationship motives are not right then having children will not fix things.
So there are a number of good reasons why single Christians should be happy to seek marriage without feeling selfish or guilty. Seeking what is good for ones life is not to be criticised and people should encourage others looking to improve the quality of their lives through a married relationship.
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